Attachment Trauma
6 episodes tagged "Attachment Trauma".
Why You Chase People Who Reject You
Let me be blunt with you—this isn’t love, it’s limerence. And neurologically, it looks a lot like OCD and substance addiction. In a healthy relationship, serotonin brings calm and security. In limerence, serotonin drops, anxiety spikes, and you start chasing a fix. That fix isn’t a drug—it’s a person. Here’s the trap: research shows that rejection intensifies obsession. When they ghost you, your dopamine doesn’t die—it surges. That’s not a “twin flame.” That’s frustration attraction. You’re not fighting for love; you’re chasing the high of turning a no into a yes. And that cycle will wreck your peace if you don’t name it for what it is. If this woke you up, like, comment, and subscribe. We get sober from delusion around here. —Michael, Sober Psychology
Limerence Explained The Crush Turned Mental Illness
Today I’m breaking down limerence—when a crush turns into an obsession. Dr. Dorothy Tennov coined the term, and I see it all the time in recovery: people get sober from substances and then get high on another person. In this Short, I explain the neurochemistry (why rejection fuels obsession), the fantasy bond (why you fall for potential, not reality), and the Biblical danger of idolatry—turning a person into your god. Here’s the hard science: limerence looks a lot like OCD and addiction. Serotonin drops, anxiety spikes, and you start chasing a “fix”—the limerent object (LO)—projecting perfection onto a human being. If you’re stuck in this loop, it’s time to understand the mechanics and detox the attachment. If this resonates, like, comment, and subscribe for straight talk on psychology, recovery, and faith—no fluff. —Michael, Sober Psychology
You're Turning Them Into a Drug
Let me ask you a question that might ruin your day: are you actually in love—or are you addicted to the pain of chasing them? If you’re checking locations, analyzing timestamps, and replaying conversations on loop, that’s not passion. Psychology calls it limerence. Limerence isn’t love—it’s an obsessive, involuntary cycle where you turn a person into a drug and project a fantasy onto a mannequin. In this Short, I break down the difference between love vs. obsession, why emotionally unavailable people hook your nervous system, and the Biblical danger of turning a partner into your god. If you’re stuck chasing someone who can’t—or won’t—choose you, you don’t need a relationship coach. You need a detox. If this hit home, like, comment, and subscribe. We don’t do the soft stuff here—just psychology, Scripture, and the truth that sets you free. —Michael, Sober Psychology
Why Your Brain Chose 'I'm Bad' Over 'My Parents Are Bad'
Let me say this plainly: you’re not a hostage anymore. If you keep defending your parents at the expense of your own reality, there’s a psychological mechanism keeping you stuck—the fantasy bond. As kids, we needed our parents to survive. Admitting they were unsafe felt life-threatening, so our brains flipped the script: they’re good, I’m bad. That lie gave us hope and control. But that survival strategy becomes a prison in adulthood. It’s Stockholm Syndrome—falling in love with your captors to stay alive. Healing starts when you shatter the fantasy bond, tell the truth about what happened, and grieve it. If you can’t grieve it, you’ll repeat it. Fire your parents from being your gods. They were flawed people—not divine authorities. If this hit home, like, comment, and subscribe for honest conversations about trauma, recovery, and faith. —Michael, Sober Psychology
The Two Types of Mothers That Damage Children Most
We talked about dad—now we have to talk about mom, and this is where it gets uncomfortable. In the psychology of generational trauma, the mother wound often cuts deeper because it happens earlier. Jungian psychology describes two dangerous patterns: the devouring mother (enmeshment—making you responsible for her emotions) and the dead mother (physically present, emotionally absent). Both teach a child the same lie: your needs don’t matter unless you perform. If you carry a mother wound, you may be trying to fill that hole with addiction, achievement, or approval. The hard truth is this: you have to stop going to an empty well. Accept that she can’t give what she doesn’t have. Stop begging for validation. Learn to mother yourself—that’s where healing begins. If this resonated, like, comment, and subscribe for honest conversations about trauma, recovery, and faith. —Michael, Sober Psychology
When Independence Becomes Your Prison
Let me speak directly to you. If you grew up having to be the strong one—the high achiever who never asks for help—what you’re calling maturity is often a defense mechanism. When your emotional needs were ignored or mocked, your brain learned: people are unreliable; I have to rely on myself. That’s not strength. That’s hyper-independence—trust issues wearing a tuxedo. Saying “I’ve got it” isn’t low-maintenance; it’s preemptive rejection. We’re wired for co-regulation—to calm stress through connection. When you refuse help, you trap cortisol in your body and poison yourself with pride. Healing starts when you let people in. If this hit home, like, comment, and subscribe for honest conversations about mental health, recovery, and faith. —Michael, Sober Psychology