christianmen
4 episodes tagged "christianmen".
Why You Actually Want to Stay Broken
"If you're the broken one, nobody expects anything from you." If you forget to pay the electric bill or you ruin Thanksgiving, people just say, "Well, he's going through a lot right now." Your misery is a shield against accountability. But if you are healed? The shield is gone. You are expected to show up. You are expected to be a good husband, a present father, and a reliable employee. The terror of the blank slate is the terror of having no more excuses. So, to avoid the weight of responsibility, you dive right back into the chaos. There is a story in the Book of Numbers (Chapter 11) that perfectly illustrates this. I call it the Egypt Syndrome. The Israelites were freed from 400 years of horrific slavery. God parted the Red Sea and led them toward freedom. And what did they do? They complained. They started romanticizing the fish, garlic, and onions they ate in their prison cells. Why did they want to go back to Egypt? Because slavery is brutal, but slavery is simple. Freedom requires responsibility. It is time to stop romanticizing your chains.
What Happens When The Demons Are Gone?
Joy actually takes courage. It takes courage to look at a beautiful day, accept that you don't deserve it, and still say thank you instead of tearing it apart to pay for your own guilt. Stop trying to pay a debt that Christ already paid. Your self-inflicted misery is an insult to the cross. If I take away your depression, your anxiety, your marital drama, and your addiction... what's left? A blank slate. And for a lot of you, that is the most terrifying image in the world. In psychology, we call this narrative identity. For years, my story was: I'm Michael. I'm a struggling alcoholic. I'm the guy fighting his demons. That was my full-time job. But what happens when the demons are gone? You are left with an identity void. When the drama stops, you actually have to figure out who you are. You have to figure out what you like to do on a Saturday. Do you like playing golf? Do you like playing video games with your kid? Do you want to learn how to edit videos? You actually have to participate in a normal, boring, beautiful human life. And normalcy is terrifying to the addict, because normalcy requires responsibility. It is time to step into the blank slate.
The "King of Your Own Dirt Pile"
Proverbs 26:11 says, "Like a dog that returns to his vomit is a fool who repeats his folly." It's one of the most disgusting images in scripture, but it is perfectly accurate. Why does the dog go back? Because it's warm. It's familiar. It's theirs. We do the exact same thing. We return to our toxic exes, the bottle, the pornography, and the self-loathing because it is "familiar vomit." Even the Apostle Paul struggled with this in Romans 7:15: "For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." This is the definition of the human condition. It is the definition of addiction. Why do we do it? Because peace requires surrender. It requires you to submit to God's pacing. But misery? Misery only requires self-sabotage. We would rather be the kings of our own miserable little dirt pile than servants in God's peaceful kingdom. Because if I'm miserable, I'm still the center of my universe, and I have an excuse not to grow up. It is time to leave the dirt pile.
You Become Exactly What You Worship
"The world says that porn is harmless fun. The Bible calls it lust. Jesus said that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Why so harsh? Because He is protecting the architecture of your soul. There is a massive difference between love and lust. Love says, "I see you, and I want to give to you." Lust says, "I see parts of you, and I want to take from you." When you watch porn, you are engaging in spiritual cannibalism. You are consuming another human being's dignity to feed your own hunger. You turn an image bearer of God into a piece of meat. As a psychologist in training, I see the devastating effects of this constantly: You become what you worship. If you worship objects, you start to feel hollow. You start to feel like an object yourself. This is exactly why users experience such high rates of depression—you are degrading humanity, including your own. Psalm 101:3 says, "I will set no wicked thing before my eyes." The eye gate is the entrance to the soul. If you fill the temple with garbage, don't be surprised when the altar smells like rot.