selfsabotage
6 episodes tagged "selfsabotage".
Why You Actually Want to Stay Broken
"If you're the broken one, nobody expects anything from you." If you forget to pay the electric bill or you ruin Thanksgiving, people just say, "Well, he's going through a lot right now." Your misery is a shield against accountability. But if you are healed? The shield is gone. You are expected to show up. You are expected to be a good husband, a present father, and a reliable employee. The terror of the blank slate is the terror of having no more excuses. So, to avoid the weight of responsibility, you dive right back into the chaos. There is a story in the Book of Numbers (Chapter 11) that perfectly illustrates this. I call it the Egypt Syndrome. The Israelites were freed from 400 years of horrific slavery. God parted the Red Sea and led them toward freedom. And what did they do? They complained. They started romanticizing the fish, garlic, and onions they ate in their prison cells. Why did they want to go back to Egypt? Because slavery is brutal, but slavery is simple. Freedom requires responsibility. It is time to stop romanticizing your chains.
What Happens When The Demons Are Gone?
Joy actually takes courage. It takes courage to look at a beautiful day, accept that you don't deserve it, and still say thank you instead of tearing it apart to pay for your own guilt. Stop trying to pay a debt that Christ already paid. Your self-inflicted misery is an insult to the cross. If I take away your depression, your anxiety, your marital drama, and your addiction... what's left? A blank slate. And for a lot of you, that is the most terrifying image in the world. In psychology, we call this narrative identity. For years, my story was: I'm Michael. I'm a struggling alcoholic. I'm the guy fighting his demons. That was my full-time job. But what happens when the demons are gone? You are left with an identity void. When the drama stops, you actually have to figure out who you are. You have to figure out what you like to do on a Saturday. Do you like playing golf? Do you like playing video games with your kid? Do you want to learn how to edit videos? You actually have to participate in a normal, boring, beautiful human life. And normalcy is terrifying to the addict, because normalcy requires responsibility. It is time to step into the blank slate.
The "King of Your Own Dirt Pile"
Proverbs 26:11 says, "Like a dog that returns to his vomit is a fool who repeats his folly." It's one of the most disgusting images in scripture, but it is perfectly accurate. Why does the dog go back? Because it's warm. It's familiar. It's theirs. We do the exact same thing. We return to our toxic exes, the bottle, the pornography, and the self-loathing because it is "familiar vomit." Even the Apostle Paul struggled with this in Romans 7:15: "For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." This is the definition of the human condition. It is the definition of addiction. Why do we do it? Because peace requires surrender. It requires you to submit to God's pacing. But misery? Misery only requires self-sabotage. We would rather be the kings of our own miserable little dirt pile than servants in God's peaceful kingdom. Because if I'm miserable, I'm still the center of my universe, and I have an excuse not to grow up. It is time to leave the dirt pile.
Are You Addicted to Chaos?
You say you want peace. You say you want sobriety. You say you want a happy marriage. But every time things get too quiet, you set your own house on fire just to remember what the smoke smells like. I’m Michael. I’m a psychologist in training, a sober dad, and today I am probably going to hurt your feelings. But if I don't, I'm not doing my job. If you've been following the channel, you know I am a recovered alcoholic. But the insidious thing about recovery is this: Sobriety isn't just putting down the bottle. It is staying away from the vibe of the bottle. And for a lot of us, the vibe of the bottle is absolute, unadulterated chaos. A few weeks ago, I was making espresso on a Saturday morning. The West Texas sun was shining, Skylar was in the other room, and my son was playing quietly. Bills were paid. Nobody was sick. It was a perfectly beautiful morning. Suddenly, my chest tightened up. I felt this venomous itch to find a problem. To check my bank account for a charge that didn't belong. To pick a fight over how the dishwasher was loaded. Why? Because when you have spent over a decade wiring your brain for disaster, peace feels like a threat. It's time to stop the self-sabotage.
Choosing Responsibility Over Ease
⏳ Freedom is harder than slavery—and that’s why we keep going back. This Short breaks down chaos addiction through Scripture, using Exodus to show how the Israelites romanticized slavery because freedom required responsibility. Psychology gave this a name later, but the Bible diagnosed it first. Sobriety is freedom. Health is freedom. Growth is freedom. And freedom is terrifying when you’re used to chains. Most of the chaos in your life isn’t bad luck—it’s impatience. It’s forcing doors God hasn’t opened yet because you don’t trust His timing. Faith isn’t frantic action. Faith is letting the plates sit still. If this hit home, like, comment, and subscribe for more faith-rooted psychology, recovery, and straight talk without the fluff.
Your Impatience is a Problem
⏳ Most chaos isn’t God’s plan — it’s your panic. This Short breaks down chaos addiction through a Biblical lens, using the story of Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar to show what happens when we try to manufacture miracles instead of trusting God’s timing. Waiting feels boring. Silence feels threatening. So we force doors that aren’t open yet — and live with the consequences for years. Here’s the hard truth: faith isn’t frantic action. Faith is the discipline of stillness. If you can’t tolerate boredom, you’ll keep injecting chaos into your life. Learn why exposure therapy for boredom retrains your brain, calms your amygdala, and breaks the addiction to stress. 👉 Like, comment, and subscribe for more faith-rooted psychology, recovery, and straight talk.