You aren't trying to feel pain. You want control. |

Are you self-sabotaging because you want to feel pain, or because you're desperately trying to establish control? Let's talk about the "trauma hurricane." 🌪️🧠

If you grew up in a chaotic environment with an unpredictable or emotionally absent parent, you learned that pain is inevitable. So as an adult, when things are finally calm, the anticipation of the next disaster becomes psychological torture.

Instead of waiting for the hurricane to hit, you create it yourself. You pick a fight, you drink the bottle, you ruin the marriage—all because it makes you the author of the tragedy instead of a helpless victim. It’s a tragic survival strategy.

To fix this deeply ingrained mechanism, we have to move from self-harm to self-parenting. You have to become the father to your own mind, regulate your nervous system, and remind yourself that you are safe. We aren't running out into the rain today.

💬 Let me know in the comments: Have you ever caught yourself starting a "hurricane" just to control the narrative? 👇

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